Conflicting Messages To Santa

Santa Claus didn’t factor heavily into my life growing up.  He’s appear on countless holiday specials, and would be sitting in malls waiting for children to sit on his lap to ask for certain Christmas presents.  Being Jewish, I didn’t care for the Christmas specials and has no interest in siting on a strange man’s lap.

In fact, my feelings towards Santa didn’t end at indifference.  On Christmas eve, I would ask my father to light a fire in the fireplace.  I wasn’t intending this to be a signal or a warning to Santa Claus, but a trap.  I was actually hoping that Santa would somehow forget that we didn’t celebrate Christmas, would come down our chimney, and would get roasted.

Five years ago, my nephew came up with this idea on his own.  Yesterday, JSL brought home a letter that he wrote to Santa as part of a school project.  (I’ll leave aside for now that he was told to write a letter to Santa in his class when he doesn’t celebrate Christmas.  That’s a completely different subject.)

Here’s what he wrote:

Dear Santa,

I don’t want you to get stuck in the chimney so here is my advice: Don’t eat so much not healthy food on Christmas or on any other day.

Love,

JSL

JSL seems to want to help Santa out, not have him burned alive.  A much different sentiment expressed than the one I had for Santa when I was young.