The Weird World Of Kid Humor

rg1024_gas_maskAs the boys get bigger, one of the fun observations I make is their maturing sense of humor.  And by "maturing", I mean totally immature.  We are talking about boys, after all.

I’ve written before about my boys’ poultry-based curse.  To recap, they were watching an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and heard Goofy ask Mickey "Guess What?  Chicken Butt!"  Since that day, they took this up as their profanity of choice.  They even shortened it to "Chicken!" in an effort to avoid getting in trouble.

They’ve also become quite taken with scatological humor.  Anything relating to the passing of gas or "going number two" are the height of hilarity.  If you can manage to actually let one fly, well then you’re just a comedy genius!  JSL still quotes Fozzie’s "fart shoes" line from The Muppets.  Complete with whoopee cushion sounds.

At this point, I’m not sure if their humor will get more refined as they grow up or if they’ll discover new depths of potty humor.  Who am I kidding?  They’re boys.  I’d better brace for the latter.  Anyone know where you can buy a gas mask?

Disclaimer: The "gas mask" image is from OpenClipArt.org.

A Mac and Cheese Quest (aka There’s No Kosher Velveeta)

IMGP5181JSL’s favorite food is macaroni and cheese.  He would eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if we allowed it.  He will devour any macaroni and cheese put before him.  Well, almost any.  There’s one little caveat with his mac and cheese obsession: He refuses to eat macaroni and cheese I make him if it doesn’t come from a box.

If I crack open a box of Wacky Mac (about the only kosher macaroni and cheese we’ve found) and prepare that, he’ll tear into it.  If a chef prepares macaroni and cheese for him at a restaurant, he’ll eat and enjoy it.  But if I whip up a cheese sauce to go over pasta, he turns his nose up at the plate.

I’ve tried finding different macaroni and cheese recipes to prepare for him.  I figure that if he’s going to eat this dish, the least I can do is make sure quality ingredients go into it.  (Though I have tried sneaking some healthy food into it from time to time.)  Unfortunately, most of the macaroni and cheese recipes seem divided into two camps: The ones that use Velveeta and the ones that use Cheddar.

The Velveeta recipes promise to taste just like the boxed macaroni and cheese.  I would try these except for one small detail: We keep a kosher kitchen and Velveeta’s not kosher.  In fact, even if it were, I don’t think I’d want to cook with it. It seems to go against the idea of making a macaroni and cheese dish from quality ingredients.

The cheddar recipes come out tasting nice and cheesy, but they don’t look or taste like the boxed kind and that’s a stopping point for JSL.  Not for me, mind you.  I prefer a good cheddar to powder cheese.  JSL, however, rejects anything different and this certainly qualifies as different when compared to boxed.

I’m going to continue my quest, though.  I can’t give up.  One of these days, I *will* find a from-scratch recipe that steers JSL away from boxed macaroni and cheese.  Just to tide us over, though, I’d better restock the boxes.

The Search For A Baby Boy Doll

P1020990Back when B was pregnant with JSL, we wanted NHL to get ready for being a big brother.  We decided to get him a small baby boy doll to help him practice.  It wasn’t easy, but we finally tracked one down in a local Toys ‘R Us.  NHL named him Howie Harry.  Howie after Howie Mandell, host of Deal or No Deal, and Harry from Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs, a favorite TV show of his at the time.  (It’s standard practice in Judaism not to name after the living, but seeing as Howie Harry’s not a real baby, I don’t think there’s a problem.)  Anyway, Howie Harry became a loved member of our family and gave NHL lots of practice.

Fast forward to the present day.  JSL now wants a "Howie Harry" of his own.  No, B’s not pregnant again.  He’s just obsessed with having a little baby of his own.  We decided that he has some Chanukah gift cards (not to mention some unused ones from his birthday last year).  We’ll let him use them to buy a little boy doll.

That is, if we can find a little boy doll.  On Saturday night, we checked two stores for a doll to no avail.  On Sunday, I called four more stores and checked in four other stores.  All I found were baby girl dolls.  We did find one baby boy doll in one store, but was quite pricy.  It’s one of the ones that coos and wets its diaper.  All we want is a basic baby boy doll.  Is that too much to ask for?

Apparently, toy manufacturers and toy store owners think that: 1) Only girls play with dolls (note that the doll aisle is all pink whereas the other aisles are more "gender-neutral" colors) and 2) girls only want to play with little girl dolls.  Why can’t little boys play with dolls?  And why can’t boys and girls play with baby boy dolls?

Have you ever seen a baby boy doll in the doll aisle?

Aloha Friday: Waking Dreams

nicubunu_Emoticons_Sleeping_faceJSL has been sick the last few days.  He had a fever, was lethargic, and didn’t want to eat.  What little he did eat… well, let’s just say that it didn’t always stay in him long.  At one point, B called me at work after he woke up from a nap.  He was crying asking for his mommy.  He recognized that B was his mother, but kept asking for his "real mommy."

Later on, after dinner, I got NHL to bed.  JSL, previously, had fallen asleep on the couch.  Suddenly, he sat up and began crying for his daddy.  I picked him up and he said "Daddy?  I want my daddy!"  I asked him who I was and he answered that I was his dad.  I asked him what room we were in and he said the living room.  I asked him my first name was and he knew that.  I even asked him how many fingers I was holding up and he answered correctly.  But after all that, he kept repeating "Daddy?  I want my daddy!"  This went on for about 10 minutes while we decided whether we were going to need to go to the hospital (and, if so, what to do about the sleeping NHL in the other room).

Slowly, JSL came out of it.  He began to realize just was going on and calmed down.  He even had some fun with what just happened by saying he wanted his daddy one more time and then smiling before hugging me.  I asked him if he was having a nightmare.  He told me that he was and that he was scared of losing us.  (As he’s never lost anyone he knows to death, I think he meant "losing us" in the sense of not knowing where we are.)

In the end, we think this was the combination of some sort of waking dream and low blood sugar.  After we got him to eat some crackers, he perked up a lot.  The next day, he stayed home and went to the doctor.  The doctor didn’t find anything wrong.  No ear infection, strep, etc.  His temperature was staying down without medicine and he was eating (and acting) better.

He’s not alone in these nighttime behaviors.  NHL has had night terrors and has even been known to sleepwalk from time to time.  My parents told me about some times when I’ve walked in my sleep, talked with them, turned around, headed back to bed with no memory of the events.  One time growing up, I got out of bed, thought I was in a different room, and couldn’t exit the room.  My mother finally heard my cries and turned on the light.  In that instance, I snapped out of the waking-dream and realized just what was happening.  (I had ended up in the closet instead of the room’s door.)

My Aloha Friday question for today is: Have you ever experienced an incident like this yourself or that your kids did?

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Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the linky there if you are participating.

Aloha Friday by Kailani at An Island Life

Aloha #124

Disclaimer: The "Emoticons: Sleeping face" clipart above is from OpenClipArt.org.

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