Category: NHL

Happy 7th Birthday, NHL!

Birthday, NHL, Photos

Today, NHL, you turn seven years old. In some ways, it seems like forever since you entered our lives. I can’t imagine what our life was like before you arrived. In other ways, it seems like the seven years has just flown by. It seems like only yesterday that we were wondering when you’d crawl. Now you’re doing addition and subtraction, using the computer, reading and clamoring to learn more. I’m so proud of you and can’t wait to see how you grow this year. Just don’t grow too quickly, please!

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Solid Exterior… Crumbling Within

Bullies, Dad Revolution, Fatherhood, NHL, Parenting

Long ago, I learned the fine art of presenting a solid exterior to the world.  I was bullied relentlessly and any emotions I showed regarding this only brought more bullying upon me.  So I clammed up.  I hid my pain and anger from the world (except for my closest friend) and pretended as if I were a brick wall.  No matter how much I felt like my entire world was crashing down around me, I made it look like I was the most solid person in the room.  Or, at least, I tried my best to make it seem that way.

In college, all I wanted was to be "normal."  Everyone around me was dating so I wanted to date.  I had no idea how to go about this so I clumsily made my way through those four years with a solid exterior/crumbling within.  Every person holding hands, every quick kiss in the hallway, every conversation about significant others chipped away at me inside.  I had a few breakdowns, a few times when I let my crumbling exterior show, but I would erect a new "solid exterior" the first chance I got.

Fast forward to the present day.  As I posted on DadRevolution.com, NHL has been diagnosed with some behavioral issues.  We strongly believe that I share these issues.  In other words, he inherited them from me.  Add this to the growing list of "Ways I’ve Screwed Up My Son’s Life Through Genetics."  Intellectually, I know this isn’t my fault.  It’s not like I said "Hey, here’s this bad gene, let’s send that on to the baby.  Here’s a good gene, we’ll hold that back."  Still, I find myself blaming myself for all of this.

Going back to the bullying.  I always figured that it was a quirk of circumstance.  Kids bullied me and so I became an introvert and so kids bullied me more.  But what if it was the other way around?  What if I was introverted because of these behavioral issues and *THEN* kids picked up on it and bullied me?  It might seem like a small technicality, but it is huge to me.

If it was the first one, a quirk of circumstances, then NHL stands a fighting chance of not being bullied like I was.  Of not going through the living hell that I went through day after day after day.  If, instead, it is all traceable to behavioral issues, which NHL has inherited from me, I may have genetically doomed him to the same torture I encountered.  I still feel pain thinking about high school, even though I graduated 17 years ago.  How can I not feel some pain at dooming him to this same fate?

And yet, even now, I put up that solid exterior.  I’m a brick wall, able to take anything thrown at me, at least that’s how I like the world to see me… until I come crumbling down.

Time is Relative

NHL, Parenting

One time, while watching insects fluttering about, I came up with a theory that time passed slower for tiny insects than for us gigantic humans. It explained why that fly that I was trying to swat could evade my every blow even though its brain is smaller than a sesame seed. To it, I was travelling in super-slow motion and thus was a cinch to avoid.

I never thought this applied to humans, the size differences between people would be too small to make a difference, but now I’m beginning to think differently. On Sunday, we went to Staples to find a backpack for B. Her new laptop didn’t fit in her old laptop bag and she needs *some* way to carry it during BlogHer. Staples had a good sale so off we went.

We entered the store and made a beeline for the backpack rack. Thirty seconds later, NHL was complaining left and right about how long it was taking us and how we were going so slow. I dragged him away to the side for a little discussion and then we continued shopping…. until he began complaining again 30 seconds later. This went on until we selected a backpack. The whole selection process took 10 minutes, tops, but NHL acted like we took 3 hours.

I can’t help but think back to the time I spent shopping with my father when I was younger. He would be looking for a new shirt or suit and would take hours upon hours to pick the ones he wanted. At least, it seemed like hours upon hours. Maybe it just seemed like that to my young mind and he really was done shopping in 30 minutes or less.

Perhaps my old theory has some validity after all. Maybe time goes slower when you are younger and speeds up as you age. The years do seem to fly by more quickly now. Next week, I’ll be turning 35 and, in many ways, it seems like I just left my twenties. Is time really speeding along for me while it drags along at a snail’s pace for NHL? Or perhaps all forms of shopping (except for toy shopping, of course) are so inheriting boring to young boys that time grinds nearly to a halt.

NHL the Rugrat Translator

JSL, NHL, Parenting, Shows, Television

One of the shows I’ve introduced to NHL and JSL via Netflix/Roku is Rugrats.  NHL has developed a passion for this show, burning through season after season.  He’s up to Season 4 already, the last season available on Roku.  The show went on to Season 10 meaning that the babies were "10 years old" and yet still in diapers.  I guess it could be worse.  Bart Simpson’s been 10 years old for over 20 years!

One of the premises of Rugrats is that the babies can talk.  The adults can’t understand them, but they do talk amongst themselves in nearly perfect English.  (Some words get replaced with similar sounding ones to humorous effect.)  The only one who can communicate with the babies and the adults is Angelica (and Susie later on).  Instead of becoming "The Baby Whisperer", Angelica uses this communication advantage to impose her will on the babies every chance she gets.

Getting back to our kids, JSL has developed a problem speaking.  He’ll drop syllables and seem to expect that we’ll understand him just fine.  If, for example, he wants fruit chews for a snack, he might ask for "uitews."  If he wants his feet covered, he might ask for "ahk."  Needless to say, this can get frustrating.  He thinks he’s being perfectly clear in what he wants and we can’t figure out what he’s saying.

We had one of those moments yesterday.  JSL didn’t want to eat dinner.  Instead, he wanted to play.  But he didn’t want any of the toys we had out so we asked him which toy he wanted.  "Idoam."  We looked at each other, had no clue and, on a whim, asked NHL if he knew what his brother wanted.  Calmly, NHL said "He wants his video game."

Apparently, NHL speaks fluent JSL the same way Angelica spoke fluent baby.  Let’s just hope that NHL uses his gift for good and not evil.  And by using it for good, I mean he is now the Official JSL Translator.

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