Category: Parenting

Aloha Friday: Overcoming Your Fears

Aloha Friday, Fear, Parenting

I mentioned a couple of days ago that I went up on a ferris wheel, facing my fear of falling primarily to take photos. That wasn’t entirely true. The original plan was that I was going to go up with JSL. He didn’t want any part of the ferris wheel, however, so I wound up sitting next to NHL.

While up there, I did what I usually do on rides such as this: I surpressed my fears so as not to panic my son. In fact, I’ve done that a lot over the years. You see, NHL has turned out to be quite the ride daredevil. He likes going on rides that are fast, twisting and make me afraid that one of us will fall out. Yet, in nearly every case, I supress my fears in order to make him happy. (This isn’t to say that I let him do purposefully dangerous things. Just that I know the difference between real danger and my phobia.)

My Aloha Friday question for today is: Do you have any fears that you have had to overcome when you became a parent?

BTW, if you like of The Wiggles or know someone that does, be sure to enter my giveaway for their new DVD. In addition, stop by TheAngelForever.com blog for a second chance to win.

Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the MckLinky there if you are participating.

Aloha Friday by Kailani at An Island Life

Aloha #52

An Unexpected Requested Head Fart

Fatherhood, JSL, NHL, Parenting

There are moments during parenting when you stop and think “Nothing anyone ever told me could prepare me for this moment.” We had one of those moments tonight. After NHL’s 7th birthday party (more on that in another post), NHL was laying on the floor watching TV. JSL decided to lay on top of his brother to give him a hug. Then, he moved so he was using his brother as a bench. Finally, he decided to change his seat… right to NHL’s face! Yes, JSL was trying to sit his rear end on his brother’s face.

I told JSL not to sit on there as B, looking up as the sight, asked “Did he fart on his brother’s face?”

Apparently, NHL took this question as a suggestion because he said, “JSL, fart on my face!”

B and I couldn’t stop laughing. I ask you, how could you possibly be prepared for an unexpected requested head fart?

On the Road Again…. Headed Off To #BlogHer10

BlogHer, Parenting

As you read this, B, CutestKidEver and I will be packing ourselves into a nice, big Chevy Tahoe Hybrid and headed on the road. Our roadtrip will take us into New York City for BlogHer 2010. As I write this (and prepare it to be scheduled for posting), our bags are mostly packed. Our schedules are printed and we’re getting psyched about the trip.

This will be the first time we’ll be taking a trip without the boys. NHL has slept over Nana and Papa’s house before, but we were always right there in our house (less than a mile away). JSL has never slept over anywhere if we weren’t there. This will be a new (and hopefully good) experience for him.

In addition to spending some quality kid-free time together, we hope to be able to meet a lot of people both new and folks we talk to online. We also hope to connect with some great companies, learn more about the art of blogging and even party a bit. (Yes, I have sparkles for Sparklecorn!)

If you’ll be at BlogHer, I hope to see you there!

Solid Exterior… Crumbling Within

Bullies, Dad Revolution, Fatherhood, NHL, Parenting

Long ago, I learned the fine art of presenting a solid exterior to the world.  I was bullied relentlessly and any emotions I showed regarding this only brought more bullying upon me.  So I clammed up.  I hid my pain and anger from the world (except for my closest friend) and pretended as if I were a brick wall.  No matter how much I felt like my entire world was crashing down around me, I made it look like I was the most solid person in the room.  Or, at least, I tried my best to make it seem that way.

In college, all I wanted was to be "normal."  Everyone around me was dating so I wanted to date.  I had no idea how to go about this so I clumsily made my way through those four years with a solid exterior/crumbling within.  Every person holding hands, every quick kiss in the hallway, every conversation about significant others chipped away at me inside.  I had a few breakdowns, a few times when I let my crumbling exterior show, but I would erect a new "solid exterior" the first chance I got.

Fast forward to the present day.  As I posted on DadRevolution.com, NHL has been diagnosed with some behavioral issues.  We strongly believe that I share these issues.  In other words, he inherited them from me.  Add this to the growing list of "Ways I’ve Screwed Up My Son’s Life Through Genetics."  Intellectually, I know this isn’t my fault.  It’s not like I said "Hey, here’s this bad gene, let’s send that on to the baby.  Here’s a good gene, we’ll hold that back."  Still, I find myself blaming myself for all of this.

Going back to the bullying.  I always figured that it was a quirk of circumstance.  Kids bullied me and so I became an introvert and so kids bullied me more.  But what if it was the other way around?  What if I was introverted because of these behavioral issues and *THEN* kids picked up on it and bullied me?  It might seem like a small technicality, but it is huge to me.

If it was the first one, a quirk of circumstances, then NHL stands a fighting chance of not being bullied like I was.  Of not going through the living hell that I went through day after day after day.  If, instead, it is all traceable to behavioral issues, which NHL has inherited from me, I may have genetically doomed him to the same torture I encountered.  I still feel pain thinking about high school, even though I graduated 17 years ago.  How can I not feel some pain at dooming him to this same fate?

And yet, even now, I put up that solid exterior.  I’m a brick wall, able to take anything thrown at me, at least that’s how I like the world to see me… until I come crumbling down.

Time is Relative

NHL, Parenting

One time, while watching insects fluttering about, I came up with a theory that time passed slower for tiny insects than for us gigantic humans. It explained why that fly that I was trying to swat could evade my every blow even though its brain is smaller than a sesame seed. To it, I was travelling in super-slow motion and thus was a cinch to avoid.

I never thought this applied to humans, the size differences between people would be too small to make a difference, but now I’m beginning to think differently. On Sunday, we went to Staples to find a backpack for B. Her new laptop didn’t fit in her old laptop bag and she needs *some* way to carry it during BlogHer. Staples had a good sale so off we went.

We entered the store and made a beeline for the backpack rack. Thirty seconds later, NHL was complaining left and right about how long it was taking us and how we were going so slow. I dragged him away to the side for a little discussion and then we continued shopping…. until he began complaining again 30 seconds later. This went on until we selected a backpack. The whole selection process took 10 minutes, tops, but NHL acted like we took 3 hours.

I can’t help but think back to the time I spent shopping with my father when I was younger. He would be looking for a new shirt or suit and would take hours upon hours to pick the ones he wanted. At least, it seemed like hours upon hours. Maybe it just seemed like that to my young mind and he really was done shopping in 30 minutes or less.

Perhaps my old theory has some validity after all. Maybe time goes slower when you are younger and speeds up as you age. The years do seem to fly by more quickly now. Next week, I’ll be turning 35 and, in many ways, it seems like I just left my twenties. Is time really speeding along for me while it drags along at a snail’s pace for NHL? Or perhaps all forms of shopping (except for toy shopping, of course) are so inheriting boring to young boys that time grinds nearly to a halt.

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