20 Pounds In 20 Weeks: Week 17: Of Birthday Parties, Willpower, and Stress

Starting Weight 205
Current Weight 189.5
Goal Weight 185
Lost 15.5
Left Until Goal 4.5

This weekend, JSL turned four.  This meant a birthday party which, of course, meant a trial of my willpower.  Now, my willpower can sometimes stay strong, but not during an event like this.  I’ll admit that I didn’t track my points over this past weekend.  And when I don’t track my points, I slip and eat more than I should.  Of course, this leads to weight gain.  I take a step back to 189.5 but I’m not giving up.  I’m still a stone’s throw from my goal weight and only three weeks to go.

There might not be any celebrations coming up to sabotage my weight loss, but something else is lurking: stress.  I’m not good about handling stress (as I’ve mentioned in the past).  I don’t have a big circle of offline friends to talk things over with and online friends can only help so much.  Talking with B helps, but if the topic is something we both are stressing over then the stress tends to fester.

When the stress festers, I think less of the pounds on the scale.  It’s not so much that I turn to food for comfort as I cease to care.  I’m worried about more important things so what does it matter if I stuff a handful of peanuts down my throat?  I’m fretting about big items so why should I care about how many points this snack has?

Right now, the stress is festering.  I want to scream about everything that’s going on, but the circumstances surrounding the stress don’t make that a possibility.  I can say that it involves NHL’s education, though.  Right now, the best I can do is try to keep the stress from overwhelming me.  Deep calming breaths and distracting work seem like the best prescription to avoid a binge.

Happy Fourth Birthday, JSL!

Sliding JSLDear JSL,

Today, you turn four years old.  It seems like only yesterday that B woke me up, the  Monday after Mother’s Day, telling me that you were on your way.  That day was filled with a lot of hurrying.  Aunt S & Mimi hurried to pick up your brother.  My parents (Bubbe and Grandpa) hurried to make the drive to see you.  Mommy’s parents (Nana and Papa), meanwhile, hurried to join us in the hospital.

Before we knew it, you were born and we all instantly fell in love with you.  Your brother came over, said hi to you and gave you a kiss like he had known you for years.  As you grew, you would always look up to him and would try to do the things that he, as a bigger kid, could do.  Sometimes you succeeded, sometimes you fell flat on your face.  But you kept trying to be just like your big brother.

JSL Giving Sleeping Beauty A Kiss When we went to Disney World, it was fun to watch your reactions to the costumed characters go from horror to delight.  (Ok, the horror wasn’t so much fun, but the delight was.)  You would have probably been happy if Disney World consisted of only the Winnie the Pooh and Small World rides.  Add in all the rest, though, and you and your brother were in love.  We had created some Neurotic Disney Kids!

You’ve scared your mother and me many times with your many febrile seizures and falls.  We have seriously considered wrapping you in bubble wrap or hockey goalie padding/helmet more than once.  When you decide on which record of your brother’s to break next, please avoid ones such as “Most Ambulance Trips” or “Most Days In A Hospital” and look to ones like “Best Grades” or “Quickest Room Cleaning.”

A Swinging Kid As you began talking, we found your speech to be very cute.  Unfortunately, those dropped sounds that began as cute became frustrating.  You knew what you were talking to us about and couldn’t understand why we were having trouble deciphering what you were saying.  Luckily, you are now getting speech therapy and we understand you much more often.  There’s still the odd moment where we just don’t get what you are saying, but since the problem has been identified we can calmly work out what you mean.

Every day as I go to work, you insist on hugging and kissing me goodbye (and then closing the door behind me).  I look forward to your “welcome home” hugs/kisses when I return.  You are always there to help me, Mommy, or anyone else.  You are, as you put it, “everybody’s helper.”  I also love tickling you because I just can’t get enough of your laughter.  (Fair warning: There will be plenty of birthday tickling.  In fact, I might just tickle you as I read you this.)

JSL, Tinkerbell, NHL and Terence You love playing on the playground (especially the swings), puzzles, watching TV with me, Buzz Lightyear, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, superheroes, and macaroni and cheese.  Despite how some people might assign gender roles, you also love Tinkerbell.  When we went to Disney World for the 2011 Social Media Moms Celebration, I was the only dad on the line with two boys and no girls.  It didn’t matter, though, because my sons got to meet the famous fairy in person!

Though I don’t want you to grow up (you’ll always be my little boy no matter how big you get), I’m also excited to see all the new things you’ll learn in the coming year.  We all love you very much.  Happy birthday, JSL!

Aloha Friday: Bullying, Reactions and Friendship

I’ve been itching to write about this for awhile, but wanted to wait while we assessed our options.  (Besides, B already wrote about this last week, so I figured it was high time I address it.)  On Thursday, April 28th, NHL was punched in the stomach by another student in his 2nd grade class.  NHL was sent to the nurse with bruises on his stomach/ribs.

One interesting wrinkle to this story was NHL’s reaction.  While in the nurse’s office, he was crying, sad that he had upset the child and had hurt his feelings.  NHL blamed himself for the bullying incident even though he had done nothing that warranted a punch in the ribs.  He even, over that weekend, listed the child as his friend.  Yes, the kid that punched him in the ribs was still a friend to NHL.

As you may recall, I was bullied a lot when I was growing up.  One incident in particular happened in middle school  At the risk of retelling a story I’ve blogged about before, I only had one person that I considered my friend at the time.  That was RH.

The only problem with RH being my friend was that he would stab me in the back.  Literally.  With a pen.  He would bully me for awhile and then would play the victim, claiming that he had heard from a third person that I had said something bad about him.  Then we would be friends again until he decided to bully me again.

Why did I keep taking him back as a friend when he kept bullying me?  Simple.  I felt like I had no other friends.  If I admitted to myself that RH wasn’t my friend, I was left friendless.  At the time, a horrible friend seemed better than no friend at all.  It scared me to see this scenario playing out again in NHL’s school.

Then, in a display of good timing, I saw a tweet from @sociallysmart (aka Corinne Gregory) about the covering up of bullying incidents.  To summarize the article (which is a must read for all parents), school administrators across the country are turning a blind eye to bullying because it makes them look bad if they admit there is a problem.  Of course, this is a case of short term gain-long term loss.  What the school administrators gain in the short term (saving face and avoiding bad PR), the kids lose in the long term (higher incidence of bullying with little to no consequences).

The only solution is for parents to know their (and their children’s) rights and stand up for them.  It might be tough to do at times, but it is essential for our children’s well being.

My Aloha Friday question for today is: Have you or your child ever been bullied by someone you/they considered a friend?  How did you/they react?

Also, don’t forget to enter my Aerobie Sprint Flying Ring giveaway.  It’s ending in four days and has a very low amount of entries (as I write this).


Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the McLinky there if you are participating.

Aloha Friday by Kailani at An Island Life

Aloha #87

Mom Field Trip = Dad Day With Boys

Today, over on TheAngelForever.com, B is recounting the story of her mom field trip with Christina from CutestKidEver to see Rene Syler (aka Good Enough Mother).  But what of the flip side?  What did the boys and I do while B went on her road trip?  Well, the boys and I had our own fun times.

As you may remember, I was undecided on whether or not I should go to Free Comic Day.  After B left, I made my decision: We were going.  I armed the kids with their Green Lantern rings from our Green Lantern party, got them into the car and headed over to Zombie Planet.

I had heard that the 501st, a group of Star Wars fans who dress up like Stormtroopers, would be there.  NHL was excited to see “costumes.”  Ever since Disney, he’s gone costume-crazy.  He must meet (and get his photo with) any costumed character who is anywhere near him.  He was not disappointed.

We got out of the car and there, in front of the store, was a single Stormtrooper.  He was joined by a Tusken Raider.

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The Tusken Raider would occasionally make a growling sound (like the one that the movie Tusken Raider made as he stood over Luke Skywalker).  This scared NHL off from getting his photo taken with the Tusken Raider.  So we went indoors and proceeded upstairs to the free comics section.

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Unlike last year, when it was “take as many as you like”, there was a 5 comic per person limit.  I had gone online the previous days to Free Comic Book Day’s website to see which comics would be available.  This meant that I knew just which comics were the best for my boys and which should be skipped.  The only complaints from the boys came when NHL looked out the window and spied Spider-Man.  He insisted that we *HAD* to go outside right now to meet the web slinger.

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I explained to NHL that we needed to check out (even we had nothing that we were being charged for).  Besides, I had brought some Phineas and Ferb action figures that needed peg stands.  I hoped that the comic shop would be able to help.  (Sadly, they didn’t have what I needed.)

Finally, we left the comic shop and NHL immediately approached Spider-Man for a photo.

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Then, I made a Geeky Daddy decision.  NHL was wearing a Green Lantern ring.  Green Lanterns Hal Jordon was supposedly “born without fear.”  So I couldn’t very well let him leave afraid of the Tusken Raider, could I?  I’d have been deducted 30 Geek Points!

I spoke with him about it and he finally agreed to get his photo taken.

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After that, we headed home for lunch and some comic book reading.

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Once the boys were fed, I decided that it was too nice of a day to be couped up indoors.  So we grabbed some of our colossal cannons and headed out to play.

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Eventually, NHL had a bright idea.  His great-grandmother had given them some butterfly nets, but NHL thought they’d make great colossal cannon disc catching nets.  And they did!

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Our next door neighbor’s daughter, N, also came over and played with the boys for quite awhile.  Eventually, they tired of chasing after green discs and wanted to play with bubbles.  Cue the Winnie the Pooh bubble blower!

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They also wanted to play with chalk and I eventually relented.

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I noticed the skies were getting dark and warned the boys that we might have to go inside soon.  Besides, B’s return time was getting closer and closer.

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As B pulled up, I hurredly gathered the chalk and got the boys (and N) off our driveway.  The boys said goodbye to N and hello to B.  Then, as we walked in, the heavens opened up.  Perfect timing!

The boys and I had a fun day together and B had a nice Mommy Road Trip.  I’d call that a win all around!

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