Nervous Habits and Overcoming Them

Lately, NHL has developed an annoying habit.  He’ll pull the shirt or coat around his neck upwards and stick it in his mouth.  Once there, he will suck away at it until the front of his shirt is soaked.  We’ve had to change his shirts and he has even ruined a few outfits.  The sucking is new, but prior to this, we would catch him chewing on objects like the Nintendo DS stylus.  We tell him to stop but he’ll almost immediately begin again.

What gets me nervous is that he might be picking up a nervous habit like mine.  Confession time: I pick my cuticles.  I’ve done this for as long as I can remember.  My father used to yell at me to stop and slap my hands, but it wouldn’t help.  Almost involuntarily, my fingers would reach out to my hand to feel along the edge of my nails.  If any skin was found to be out of order, it would be pulled at until it came off.  Yes, this caused me to bleed many a time.  The bleeding was not the intended effect, of course.  My “intentions”, such as they were, were to tidy up my fingernails.

I could go for long stretches of time without picking so long as I was occupied.  If my hands were idle, though, the picking would quickly begin.  Even once I became aware of this, I couldn’t stop.  I’d hold off the urge for awhile but it would build and build until I gave in.

I didn’t even grow out of it.  Although I do this less nowadays than I did when I was a teenager, I still find myself picking from time to time.  I even carry cuticle tweezers with me to work every day.  If the urge strikes, I’d rather use the sharp metal tweezers to make clean, precise cuts rather than haphazard rips and tears which often cause bleeding.

Going back to NHL, part of me is afraid that his shirt-sucking habit will turn out to be like my cuticle-picking one.  I’m supposed to give him the tools to overcome things like this, but how can I do so when I’ve never overcome my own nervous habit?

Do you have a nervous habit?  Have you ever overcome one?  What about your children?

Legit Comments From Spammers?

Things used to be so simple.  If I got a comment that was in Russian, I would mark it as spam.  If I got a comment promising me “extra inches” or “wealth”, I would mark it as spam.  If I got a nonsensical comment, I would look at the URL and, sure enough, spammy link goes in the spam bin.  Truthfully, I’d rarely mark these as spam myself.  Akismet takes care of this for me most of the time.  You get the picture, though.

Recently, though, the line between spam and normal comment has blurred.  At first, it was valid comments that appeared to somehow hijack CommentLuv.  Upon further investigation, this turned out to be spammers copying previous comments and using them for their own comments.  (Replacing the links, of course, to be their own spammy links.)  That was annoying, but once I was on to their trick they couldn’t get by me.

Now, though, the spammers have me in a quandary.  And I’m not even sure it’s spammers I’m dealing with.  You see, I’ve recently had a few comments on my blog posts that are completely on topic (referencing specific themes of my post or my kids’ pseudonyms), use proper grammar and spelling, and are (as far as I can tell) 100% original.  No copying bits and pieces to form a Franken-comment here.  This wouldn’t be a problem except that the links given trigger my internal spam-alert sirens.

Is that comment really a valid one about my blog post even if the site linked to reeks of spam?  Should I allow it to remain on my blog?  Should I take it down?  Should I remove the URL so that the comment remains but the link doesn’t?  So far, I’ve been removing them entirely, but I’m afraid of removing a valid comment from someone whose URL just looks “different.”

Have you encountered comments like this?  If so, what did you do with them?

Aloha Friday: Advice

This morning, I gave NHL two very important pieces of advice.  The first came when I talked to NHL about failure.  Lately, we’ve noticed that he isn’t trying to do things that we know he can do.  He’ll say “I can’t do it” or “It’s too hard.”  If pressed, he does the task easily.  We believe the problem is that he’s afraid to fail.

Yesterday, I was watching an online video of the Mythbusters.  They were trying to test a myth from the movie Hellboy where a speeding car has it’s hood smashed in by Hellboy and goes flipping over.  Kari, Grant and Tory were having problems as the giant metal fist they made and the SUV wouldn’t get into right position at the right time.  Suddenly, I remembered the Mythbusters motto: Failure is always an option.

On the way into school today, I told NHL about this (promising to show him the episode later on).  He remembered other episodes we saw where they tried something and didn’t get it to work.  Specifically, he recalled Adam and Jamie’s Christmas-themed Rube Goldberg device which failed in every way imaginable and a few ways they didn’t imagine beforehand.

Were the Mythbusters frustrated?  Sure.  Were they upset that it didn’t work right?  Of course.  Did they quit?  No.  I told NHL that, when the Mythbusters failed at something, they figured out what went wrong, fixed it as best they could and tried their best again and again and again.  I told him that failing at something wasn’t bad.  Everyone fails at some point in their lives.  It’s how you react to the failure that’s key.  If you cry and whine and never try again, that’s bad.  If you dust yourself off, figure out what went wrong and try again, you’re learning from your mistakes and turning the failure into something useful.

The next piece of advice came after NHL told me that a classmate of his had called him a “loser.”  This hurt me deeply.  As I’ve written about before, I was a victim of bullying for many years.  I thought back to when I was a child hearing insults be thrown my way and thinking that I had no recourse.  I tried to come up with some advice for him.  This was my advice:

Don’t listen to them, NHL.  You aren’t a loser just because someone says you are.  Don’t let their words have any power over you.  If someone puts you down or criticizes you, tune them out.  Ignore them.  Of course, if mom, dad or your teacher say you’re doing something wrong, don’t tune us out.  Pretty much everyone else can be tuned out, though, when they say negative things about you.  The most important opinion is your own.

My Aloha Friday question for today is: What piece of advice have you given your children recently?


Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the McLinky there if you are participating.

Aloha Friday by Kailani at An Island Life

Aloha #67

Happy Birthday To My Angel

Today is the last day of Chanukah, but there’s something even bigger to celebrate.  Today is the birthday of the most beautiful woman in the world: My wife, aka B, aka TheAngelForever!

In some ways, it’s hard to believe that she’s only been in my life for 11 years.  It feels like forever… and I mean that in a good way.  I can’t imagine my life without her.  I love being around her and every day I watch the clock slowly tick until it’s “go home to see B and the boys” time.  (I love my job, but my coworkers just are no match for my family!)  I love spending lazy weekend mornings in bed with her, seeing how long we can lounge around before the boys storm the bedroom demanding breakfast.

Every day, I try to do everything I can to make her happy.  I only hope I’m making her as happy as she has made me.  She’s a wonderful mother to our kids and wife and friend to me.  Although she’ll deny it left and right, she’s also extremely sexy.  Sorry, B, but despite your protests, you are sexy and I don’t mind shouting it to the world.  MY WIFE IS SEXY!!!!!!  😉

Happy birthday, B.  I love you with all of my heart.

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