#BlogHer10 Fears

BlogHer, Fear

I have many fears going into BlogHer.  Some are pretty mundane: Fear that I’ll be too tired at the end of the day to party.  Fear that I won’t have anything sparkly (yet manly) to wear to Sparklecorn.  Fear that I’ll stick out like a sore thumb in some way.  Mainly, though, my fears involve meeting people face to face instead of online.

I’ve never been good with face to face meetings.  My first problem involves coming up with conversation topics.  I’m pretty good at that, but I tend to either become too quiet (especially if the conversation is between more than two people) or I hog the conversation too much (the dreaded "he’s been talking for 10 minutes straight without so much as stopping to take a breath").  Online, conversation is easy.  Someone sends me a message, I send one back, they send one back to me.  Sometimes multiple messages get sent before one gets sent back, but it’s pretty much an even rhythm.

My second problem involves the filter between my mouth and brain.  Mine can get broken and I might find myself saying things that I really shouldn’t be saying.  For example, when I was looking at new cars and I started telling the salesman how I thought my old one had a busted transmission.  Hello?  TechyDad’s Brain?  Make a note for future exchanges of this nature.  Don’t tell the salesman who’ll be figuring out your trade-in value that you think your transmission is broken!!!  That is all.

Needless to say, online is easier here too.  I can type something out and then edit it fifteen times without the person realizing that the witty thing I just said is the much improved version of the bland, boring comment I was about to leave.  The same goes for debating too.  Online, I can look up sources and take my time to make a solid argument.  In person, my brain can have the most compelling argument with all the facts and words lined up.  It then sends it to my mouth where the filter slices and dices it until it seems as though I don’t know what I’m saying.

My last problem involves seeing people I’ve already met.  You see, I’m not good with faces and names.  There are people who work for my company whom I’ve seen dozens of times over the past nine years who I couldn’t name if I saw them walking down the hall.  I’ll know that I know them from somewhere but I just won’t be able to place it.  If I’m that bad with people I’ve seen over the course of nine years, imagine how I’ll be with the hundred or so people I’ll meet this week.  "Hi.  I’m TechyDad and you are… Oh yes, we did meet before… your name was… Right…. and your website…. Yes, I remember you.  What, do you think I forgot your name since we last met yesterday? …. Oh, we met an hour ago?"

All the nervousness brings back unpleasant memories of high school.  My only consolation is that other bloggers out there are going through the pre-BlogHer jitters too.  Here’s hoping that all my fears are unfounded and I have a wonderful time.  If not, I’ll be that guy curled up in the corner with a stack of business cards trying desperately to commit the faces, names and URLs to memory.

Solid Exterior… Crumbling Within

Bullies, Dad Revolution, Fatherhood, NHL, Parenting

Long ago, I learned the fine art of presenting a solid exterior to the world.  I was bullied relentlessly and any emotions I showed regarding this only brought more bullying upon me.  So I clammed up.  I hid my pain and anger from the world (except for my closest friend) and pretended as if I were a brick wall.  No matter how much I felt like my entire world was crashing down around me, I made it look like I was the most solid person in the room.  Or, at least, I tried my best to make it seem that way.

In college, all I wanted was to be "normal."  Everyone around me was dating so I wanted to date.  I had no idea how to go about this so I clumsily made my way through those four years with a solid exterior/crumbling within.  Every person holding hands, every quick kiss in the hallway, every conversation about significant others chipped away at me inside.  I had a few breakdowns, a few times when I let my crumbling exterior show, but I would erect a new "solid exterior" the first chance I got.

Fast forward to the present day.  As I posted on DadRevolution.com, NHL has been diagnosed with some behavioral issues.  We strongly believe that I share these issues.  In other words, he inherited them from me.  Add this to the growing list of "Ways I’ve Screwed Up My Son’s Life Through Genetics."  Intellectually, I know this isn’t my fault.  It’s not like I said "Hey, here’s this bad gene, let’s send that on to the baby.  Here’s a good gene, we’ll hold that back."  Still, I find myself blaming myself for all of this.

Going back to the bullying.  I always figured that it was a quirk of circumstance.  Kids bullied me and so I became an introvert and so kids bullied me more.  But what if it was the other way around?  What if I was introverted because of these behavioral issues and *THEN* kids picked up on it and bullied me?  It might seem like a small technicality, but it is huge to me.

If it was the first one, a quirk of circumstances, then NHL stands a fighting chance of not being bullied like I was.  Of not going through the living hell that I went through day after day after day.  If, instead, it is all traceable to behavioral issues, which NHL has inherited from me, I may have genetically doomed him to the same torture I encountered.  I still feel pain thinking about high school, even though I graduated 17 years ago.  How can I not feel some pain at dooming him to this same fate?

And yet, even now, I put up that solid exterior.  I’m a brick wall, able to take anything thrown at me, at least that’s how I like the world to see me… until I come crumbling down.

Aloha Friday: Mens Wear At BlogHer’s SparkleCorn

Aloha Friday, Charleston, Photos

Next week, I’ll be attending BlogHer 2010. Among the events, is a party billed as “glitterlicious” where people are told to “dress in glitter and leotards.” Obviously, as a guy attendee, this doesn’t quite match up with my wardrobe. There aren’t many glittery men’s outfits around. Call us guys crazy, but “glitter and leotards” just hasn’t hit it off as the macho fashion trend for 2010.

So what should I wear? After all, I don’t want to show up in a sea of sparkle wearing a plain shirt and pants. After some thought, I remembered back to when my friend G got married. Part of my groomsman outfit was an orange silk vest/tie combination. Here’s a photo of me wearing it (my friend got the gold version since he was the groom).

The Vest/Tie

I got to keep this set post-wedding, but they weren’t exactly my day-to-day style so they got put into the closet and ignored. With BlogHer, and SparkleCorn, approaching, however, I’ve began thinking of taking them out. I could easily wear this with a pair of brown pants and a nice shirt underneath. Of course, if I really wanted to embarass B, I’d take LastMinuteMandy up on her double-dog dare and wear this mask from G’s costumed wedding reception.

Wedding-Mask.jpg

Hey, it is sparkly! And you’ll definitely be able to tell me apart from the crowd. I’d be The Masked TechyDad!

Since we’ll be driving to BlogHer, I don’t need to worry about airlines charging extra for luggage. Still, I don’t want to overpack. Plus, we might be hopping from party to party so do I really want to leave the previous party, stop back at my room for my vest/tie (and mask) and then head back for SparkleCorn?

My Aloha Friday question for today is: If you were in my shoes, would you pack this vest/tie? If not, what would you suggest for a guy to wear to a party like SparkleCorn?

Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the MckLinky there if you are participating.

Aloha Friday by Kailani at An Island Life

Aloha #49

Putting Kung Zhu Through Its Paces

Photos, Videos

As B posted about on Sunday, we recieved a big, BIG box of Kung Zhus to try out/throw a party with/give away. I struggled to put the tracks together, not because it was hard to do so, but because I was trying to make a self-contained system for the Kung Zhus to run around in. Eventually, I gave up on this idea. The resulting track was too unweildy and sections would be inaccessible.

Instead, I made four sub-systems. The first was the battle track using the Giant Battle Arena, Special Forces HQ and Ninja Dojo HQ. The second was a training ground using the special forces training sets. The third was a ninja training ground using, what else, the ninja training sets. The last was a general area using the remaining tracks.

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After awhile, I got the idea to place the entrance to the special forces training area at the exit of the ninja training area. Then, I placed the general area’s entrance at the special forces exit. The result was one long track, albeit one that could easily be reconfigured into 3 separate tracks without disconnecting anything.

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I got the idea of filming a Kung Zu’s eye view of the track as one of the little guys powered through. That proved to be impractical, so I just did an overhead video instead. Here’s Stonewall being put through the paces.

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